Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Remembering Gabrielle Roth ... and Remembering Myself in the Dance

Gabrielle's CD "Ritual" is playing in the background as I write ...

I found out during Sunday afternoon (Sunday 28th October 2012, "as the Nazarenes understand and tally the turning of the years") that one of my dearest teachers of my Wisdom Journey, Gabrielle Roth, transitioned out of this SpaceTimeEnergy nexus that we call "Life" a few days previously. Gabrielle Roth was great, great teacher to me.

I found out in a "strange" way. Kathy - my beloved, spouse, and fellow-traveller on our individual and shared Wisdom Journey - and I were chatting about Gabrielle. I mention her sometimes, for transformation was seeded and happened through that Dance. Kathy asked how old Gabrielle was. So ... I went to Wikipedia. I spotted her birth date immediately. And then ... I kind of looked twice ... with eye and mind ... and ... I noticed that there was an "end" date a few days before our Sunday. Oh my ...

"Strangely", several days before Sunday I had put Gabrielle's "Bardo" in the car. And I played it several times on short drives around town the previous few days. Strange because I pretty much never have played Gabrielle's music in the car - the music is not for that, for me. Though ... "Refuge" by the Mirrors and Boris Grebenshikov was for seven or eight years me and Kathy's most played "road trip" music. And it still gets played several times a year on our road trips. We growl like wolves at the beginning when some low sounds kick in! I don't think I put Bardo in the car on the actual day of her transitioning. Though ... it's possible. It was just one of those throwaway acts of everyday lived life that had no "significance" at the time. Of course, Bardo is a SpaceTimeEnergy state that consciousnesses "travel" through after "death". And, of course, I am now reflecting on me doing this "for no reason whatsoever". Hmm ... oh well ... And, of course, the guidance that is given to consciousnesses traversing Bardo is measured in human life days ... oh well ... and traversing Bardo takes a specified number of days ...

I signed up for my first Gabrielle Roth workshop in England (I lived in London at the time) in 1987 ... or thereabouts. I didn't keep a diary. I don't know exactly where or specifically when.

Some context ... This life I have lived several lives. Being a writer I some times call them "chapters" ... but they are not really. They are more and other. Lives strung together within one. However I do measure the timeline of my life in two parts - before Gabrielle Roth and after GR. I and my life changed. Over two, three years. Before ... I was training and practising as a Gestalt therapist. And after ... I realized that I didn't want to heal others by "therapy", but that I wanted to heal - consciousnesses, hearts, souls, the human GroupMind - through stories. And so I embarked on the long journey, longer by far than that of Odysseus, to "become" a writer, a writer of stories.

Memories. And reflections. And ... reflection upon reflection.

In the first workshop - somewhere in rural England - Gabrielle said to my friend ... I think to him and not direclty to me though it equally applied ... "what you're running from is what you're running with." Hah! Well ... that kind of message certainly cuts through.

During the first workshop I attened at Esalen she talks about "space". Space doesn't belong to anyone. "It's not your space!" Well ... how true; space is never ownable and is just there to Dance into and through. At this workshop ... or maybe it was the English one ... we dance to "Can You See Me". I "remember" this being at Esalen since I remember a big dancing space and lots and lots of dancers. Who knows? Memory is a frail and yearning thing. There were always so many musicians around. First or second Esalen workshop Frank Ekeh sat in. I still have the cassette tape of him and Steven Halpern. I really liked him ... gentle, sensitive, kind. One night Raphael played solo piano for us - wonderful, surging music. Other musicians I don't remember the names of. One of the two Esalen workshops I went to we spent an afternoon with so, so very, gentle music playing and us chanting, in the massage place massaging the musicians. Three or four of us to one musician. One evening, late, Boris Grebenshikov played for us. We all sat in a big, big circle, and he played his guitar and sang. One evening session, certainly on the first Esalen workhop the energy in the dance room was ... higher than the walls of Troy. Music as loud as ... oh ... loud ... I mean LOUD ... archetypal ... and shamanic. I had never ... and I mean never ... sweated so much. I was slick. Liquid. Hot. Ecstatic. Fearlessness abounded within me.

I remember driving down what I later came to know was Highway 1 with Gabrielle and two of her core posse all the way from I think South San Francisco to attend my first event at Esalen. Bear in mind ... this was only my second trip to the States - the first, three days in Boston where I don't think I was ever further than a few hundred yards from the Four Seasons where I stayed. And I was a recovering shy person. (Hi, my name is Rennie, and I am a recovering shy person.) So ... all that coast. All that ... California. We stopped at Nepenthe for lunch. Gabrielle had some kind of Asian chicken salad. Me too. Then Esalen. Evening. The first session. I knew no-one of the workshop participants. My fears as big as the walls of Troy! What is a recovering shy, Scottish person going here? Indeed. There was Guided Purpose that took me there.

I remember sitting in the Esalen hot tubs on the edge of the cliff. Being touched by stars of a different sky than that of Scotland. Or my childnood. I stil have a Taos drum I bought at the Esalen gift store. (Five or six years ago me and Kathy dropped into Esalen on our way home from somewhere and said to the guy at the gate we were going to the gift store ... oh ... long ... long gone apparently.)

Back from the first Esalen workshop, in my West London apartment I danced to Gabrielle's cassette tapes every day. We're still late 80s, remember. Every day. I was in transition. I was breakingBursting. I was dancing for my life. Oh yes, for my life. A few months of these days passed. I got a postcard from her. Signed "Raven". Something about just thinking of me. I travel light, this lifetime. Not much baggage. Possessions. But I did check before I began writing this, in the one box of old 80s/90s papers that I have. Not there. But I knew that before I looked. No harm in looking though. Memory humming as I leaf through the box.

I still have the cassette tapes. Dancing Toward the One. Initiation. Bones. Waves. All waiting all these years to be converted into MP3.

What happened next? Changed, I hummed and hawed, dithered and deliberated. Should I ... or should I not ... train with Gabrielle? I "went to India". And by "India", yes I do mean the place (and I've been there with more than one teacher), but I mean eternal, energetic, archetypal India. The India of Buddha and Krishna, of the Gayatri Mantra, of the Bhagavad Gita, of Hanuman and Lord Ganesha, God of Abundance and Compassion, both of whom I sing songs to some times now. And Love. I have Danced a long way from my Scottish upbringing.

Thank you Gabrielle Roth for all the Service that you did for so many! Dance through Bardo! (I am sure you will be much loved and much enjoyed there.) And Dance on. For there is only the Dance.

And a few last words between you and me, Gabrielle, from here "where" I am to Bardo. My story since our first dance, Gabrielle, has been "long" .. l o n g ... and perfect. Longer and more labyrinthine than any novel. And now I write stories. And I never knew that was my Life's Purpose until I met you. So, thank you! And ... y'know ... I still feel the Dance ... it's within ... it never goes ... it "helps" me write ... my body feels it every day ... Dancing is a state of Consciousness ... forget Higgs Boson ... what's really "there" where Higgs Boson is conceived to be is the Dance. Thank you, Gabrielle, for letting me find that out. Thank you. Seven times seventy times seven hundred thank yous.

Namaste! I bow to and honour the Light within you all ... and the Dance within which we all participate

Saturday, October 27, 2012

When Living in a World of Lies ... Why then Stories?

I live in a society where floods of lies are released (and re-told) every day. It's high political season here in California, and in the larger USA. Thus, lying is very, very foreground in the media circus around me. So ... politicians lie (not all, but most) at scale. Those who own and control politicians lie, at scale. Corporations lie, all the time and every where, and employ armies of skilled and experienced lie-makers and lie-promoters, and then spend fortunes to flood the "media" channels with tides of lies that become part of our GroupMind consciousness.

I live in a society where floods of lies are acted upon every day. Lies that advocate hating and belittling those (many, many) who fight against the One Percent. Lies that tell that it is OK and harmless (both) to rape and despoil Mother EAerth. Lies that tell many of us to eat (very) badly and then to self-medicate with chemicals we don't need it we eat normally and correctly. And lies that constantly whisper of the need to beat the drums of war. And more. And on ... and on.

And at the same time we tell our beloved children, and encourage them, to not lie. We want our children to be honest in word. And in deeds. And then in cultural parallel ... circulated and read widely in the USA ... there is a two thousand year old book called The Bible that explicitly, in very simple, unambigious and terse language, commands that we should not lie. All of us. But who amongst the politicians, their handlers, their shills, and the One Percent care about that one line? None, it seems to me as an engaged observer. Many liers and lie-drinkers seem to live in parallel universes at the same time.

And so ... to writing stories. Since political culture here in the USA is mad (truly) and hysterical, to use a very old-fashioned term (truly), and bearing in mind and heart at all moments and times that there is no such quality as "good" hatred, I write novels that oppose, fundamentally, this culture.

In Alba, there is black, white and grey. Somewhat as life. Some characters are for Life and Mother EAerth Herself, and honor all upon Her Breast, some are for hatred and its effects - despoilation - and others try and do their best.

I see my role as a story teller very clearly. I see clearly story-telling and story-giving as intrinsically healing. I write to contribute to the Stilling, and hence the healing, of the human GroupMind. I do this in many ways. One way is to activate archetypes in my stories. Archetypes remind us ... of what we AreCanBe ... of what we MostCertainly are. The Sacred Dancers of Alba tell True. They know (and they have worked hard to get to that consciousness) that True Wisdom exists outside and over the obvious. They offer selfless Service. To animals and humans. They pray. Dance is their prayer.

In the Age of Lies stories can tell True. And the truth is that we are not pawns of the One Percent. And we all know this with no doubt. So all we really need is community and constant inspiration.

Each one of us is not alone. We are choirs of voices. We only need to change one person upon this world of seven billion. Our own self; our own mind. That is our only duty to Mother EAerth. There are so many good paths for the diverse multitude of all of us to follow. Story works some times for some.

Namaste! I bow to and honour the Light within you.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

My Current Work in Progress

So ... as a one-person global publishing empire, as all do-it-yourself artists are, multi-tasking on all my global publishing roles, I am, in equal parallel, working on my works-in-progress. btw ... let me say in parens, writing is the easy piece!<.p>

I have two pieces of work on the go. One is a recently begun series of what at the moment are "poems", based on resonances from and memories of my dreams. I have some vague intuitions where this work might lead. It is work that is completely out of character for me. You can read an extract called "The Mirror Undecided" on the "This Moment's Poem" page here. It is very thematic and will tell a story, of a sort, in its own ravelling and unravelling way. A story, I suspect, that will talk to different pulse points within us that accept the touch of Story.

The other work i have going is a new novel. At first ... i began sketching out the sequel to Alba. And now ... since the last few weeks ... I'm on a completely different story. The story that I am being Given and crafting is about an 11-year old girl, Carolyn, and a cat. And her cat, whom she finds in a mysterious way, in turn, has several mysterious talents ... 'nuff said! At least for now.

More about this story to follow. btw ... i have what I think and feel is a great title!

Namaste! You are Great-Soul-on=Your-Journey ...

The Book I Never Thought I would Publish

So ... I've just published a book that I never thought I would. And ... the reason that I never thought I would publish it is ... that I never had any (conscious) intention to write it.

And yet ... I've just published Gathering Stillness: Reflection upon Reflection. And am just about to market it. It's a book of fifty poems. (Not sure why it's fifty either ... but it is so.) It's a collection of spiritual poetry; I have my influences and I have walked paths.

This is what it is collectively "about" ... if a book of poems can be declared to be "about". From off the back cover - "Gathering Stillness is a collection of poems to inspire us to perform the devotional act of gathering Stillness to oneself. To gather Stillness is to engage in a sacred, devotional ritual, a shamanic practice. Once Stillness is Gathered, "you" are not really there, yet a You not of the surface world is most certainly there. Perceiving. Accepting. Being. you and You are joined, together."

And yet ... I had no (conscious) intention to write Gathering Stillness. It was well into May this year - 2012 ("as the Nazarenes understand and tally the turning of the years") - and I was juggling my "day job" with my "Life's Purpose" job. I had just published my first novel - Alba: The Great Dance of Leaving and Returning" - in April, and was (very) ready to begin marketing it. And ... Whaam! As Roy Lichtenstein famously quoted (many, many times). I felt the Touch of inspiration to publish my poems.

What an "odd" time to receive that Touch. What about Alba! Well ... when the Divine reaches out and Touches ... who am I to say "No"?

I worked hard - but in fact I experienced the whole work of making Gathering Stillness effortless. Did I have enough poems? Well ... how many is enough? I decided that "enough" was that amount that gave me a book in Createspace that was just thick enough to give me a spine that could hold a title and an author name.

So I lightly stepped through my poems. Reacquainting myself. Re-introducing myself to them. "Hi! I'm your writer, Rennie!" Gently through my notebooks and content from fablesofeternity.

A few small polishes here and there. Not many or much. Finished or wrote three or four additional. Struggled, struggled, STRUGGLED with one. Could not quite get the rimes and rhythms so. And then it was "so" enough (which is Perfection enough for me). Played around with the cover. Could I ... or could I not ... fit the title text on the spine. Hmm ... I did fit it on. but ... Hmm ... I'm a couple of fractions of an inch under the recommended width for holding text on the spine. Hmm ... should I risk? Not being a graphic designer or book designer by trade - and in fact this is my first ever book cover - I decided "no".

And this is verily a most true account of the coming into being of Gathering Stillness. Took me two months ... in equal parallel with my day job. You can visit the website here. And you can buy it from Amazon here.

Namaste! I bow to and honor the Light within you ...

rennie